'She looked at me like I had three heads': 16-year-old daughter refuses to help mom with housework, claims mom should take on the 'motherly duties', leading mom to start paying her for the help

Author image for Bar Mor Hazut
Bar Mor Hazut • Senior Editor
Jan 19, 2025 10:00 AM EST

Different parents have different approaches to educating their kids on taking an active part in the housework and chores. Some parents teach kids from a very young age that housework duties are just a part of living in their household, and every child should help out equally with chores around the house. Other parents present those chores as an option and offer rewards for the kids who actually help out, like allowance or small gifts. 

No matter the approach a parent takes, there is one thing all parents should do if they want their kids to comply with the chores, and that is setting an example themselves. If a parent is unable to show their kids that they too take an active part in making the house a more pleasant environment to live in, then the kids are never going to be on board with doing it themselves. Not to mention, it is also a responsibility parents have for their kids, and shouldn't be dropped on the kids to do all by themselves.

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  • Unfortunately, many kids these days find themselves managing their household instead of their parents. Usually, it is because their parents have to work, and that is understandable, but it is still not the best solution. Parents shouldn't drop their responsibilities on their children, and children should not feel obligated to do so.

    If something like that does happen, the least the parents can do is be grateful for their kids' hard work. If they can't even do that, they shouldn't be surprised if their children eventually retaliate against them, exactly like the daughter down below.

  • Cheezburger Image 10455096832
    via Monkey Business Images

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • "AITA for telling my mom that just because she works and pays, the bills doesn’t mean she can stop with her motherly duties"

    I (16f) live with my mom my stepdad my twin sister my little brother, my little sister and my older brother for the time being. I cook I clean I make sure my. (8f)
    via Still-Control7991
  • sister my(14m) brother and my (16f) twin sister are all up for school in the morning and on top of all of that I work and go to school myself.
    via Still-Control7991
  • Yesterday I told my mom that I need a mental health day because I literally do everything she looked at me like I had three heads and told me what do I do
    via Still-Control7991
  • and I just got so mad I snapped I packed a bag and I left the house. I stayed at my boyfriend's house for like three days. I didn't answer a single text a call or anything.
    via Still-Control7991
  • I just need to day for myself and after the three days. were up. I went home and it was a mess everywhere. My room was a mess. The kitchen was a mess. The
    via Still-Control7991
  • living room was a mess everything and the first thing my mom told me when I walked in the house was clean it up. And then I yelled at her and I told her
    via Still-Control7991
  • just because you work and you pay the bills does it mean that you can stop with your motherly duties. I shouldn't be taking care of everybody in the house and then myself I'm only 16.
    via Still-Control7991
  • She said you're the older sister you should be doing this stuff anyways and I told her that I am a twin and there's other people in this house that can clean up and do all the other stuff So am I the a hle?
    via Still-Control7991

  • Keep reading to read what people had to say about this issue, and scroll all the way down to read the daughter's update after she followed some people's advice.

  • Cheezburger Image 10455098368
    via Jecapix

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • Texas Yankee212 What happened with 16y twin that she cannot help? Is she just lazy or entitled?
    via TexasYankee212
  • Still-Control7991 OP Lazy
    via Still-Control7991
  • Live Western_1389 NTA. Can't say the same about your Mom. She's a piece of work.
    via Live_Western_1389
  • Still-Control7991 OP Tell me about it
    via Still-Control7991
  • bippityboppitynope NTA, can you live with your dad?
    via bippityboppitynope
  • Still-Control7991 OP He is a dadbeat
    via Still-Control7991
  • BlueGreen 1956 NTA Your mother has kids but expects you to be their mother. Uh, nope.
    via BlueGreen_1956
  • Mother Search3350 NTAH Clean your room, get up in the morning, get ready for school and leave.
    via Mother_Search3350
  • There are no babies in that house that need to be taken care of 24/7 and your mother and stepfather are responsible for taking care of their children. NTAH
    via Mother_Search3350
  • Dizzy-Bowl-900 NTA This is called parentification, and I am sorry you are going through it. It s ks, and it's one of the main reasons people will estrange from their families as they get older and see how ridiculous their parents were.
    via Dizzy-Bowl-900
  • Update I js wanted to say thank you to you all I told my mom everything that I needed to say nd what all she said she was
    via Still-Control7991
  • sorry and she will pay me for all I do also I will be moving out on my 17th birthday
    via Still-Control7991

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family drama aita baby housework kids mother siblings reddit story parenting chores family sister Reddit mom women parents children Father
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